cell service sucks !!
a world of endless connection
Dear Sondra,
Happy November! I hope you had the best October, and a Halloween full of child-like wonder. I went trick-or-treating for the first time since I was 12. By the end, I was like a little kid, running around in awe at all the decorations, jumping up and down, and likely on a sugar high…
In October, I dressed up, among other costumes, as a busy adult. A chaos chaser. A girl in fight or flight. October was likely the most hectic month of my life. All in all, I was home about 9 out of the 31 days this month.
That’s an insane statistic, I know.
Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware it’s my own fault. But here I am, one month, 8 flights, 7 airports, and 4 states later, and I’m about to never leave my house again (#noplansNovember).
We left off coming home from the Newport Boat Show in September— since then, I was in Annapolis, MD for 9 days (another boat show), went backpacking in Washington State’s mountains, camping in the Sierra’s, spent a day in New York City and a weekend in the Catskills in Upstate, NY.
In all of this travel and following through of plans, the constant unpacking and repacking, the working on planes, trying to convince my job that I am a worthwhile employee, and attempting to enjoy the present, I’ve been thinking a lot about connectivity.
The world is more connected than it’s ever been. From endless Wi-Fi and 5G to the never-ending social apps, the ease of plane travel to the constant need to share, connectivity takes on a billion and one forms in our modern, 2024 world. And I can’t help but be so conflicted by it all.
Half of October, I was tied to my phone. To the Wi-Fi. To my constant availability.
The other half, I didn’t have cell service.
5 miles in, your brain starts to take a deep breath. Things start to go quiet. You think about reaching for your phone more than you’d like to admit, though not really for anything except the want for human connection and the endless need to capture beautiful things. It might also just be habit. I wonder in those moments if just seeing it with my eyes is enough. I know it is, but how will I feel if I can never explain the sight once I’m back to reality?
We race the dark, hoping to get to the campsite before the headlights need to get pulled on, and beanies wrapped around our heads. The dark wins (this time), but the tents get set up, and soon you’re all huddled around a tree stump in the forest, blocking the wind to start your backpacking stove, and rationing hot sauce.
But this is the thing — day two? Day two gets comfortable. Your muscles relax and your brain seems far less concerned with anything except exactly where you’re at. Because you couldn’t get cell service if you tried. And why would you want it? You’re waking up next to the most gorgeous blue lake you’ve ever seen, having coffee while sitting on rocks, and staring at the mountains. The only thing you’re concerned with is wandering around, chatting about anything with your brother and his girlfriend, and making meals whenever you all decide you want to. You cuddle up in a tent with hot chocolate and watch the stars. In the morning, you take a little cold plunge, freezing but full of joy and no worse for the wear.
You aren’t at the beck and call of anything except the weather and your own will. You only need to worry about what’s right in front of you.
When you hike back down the mountain, lug your backpack to the car, and start the hours of driving back to city civilization, slowly the texts start rolling in. The notifications pop up on your phone, and the anxiety settles into your back seat.
It felt a bit odd coming back to it all.
And I have this uncomfortable feeling that maybe, I’m not actually a huge fan of cell service. That maybe, the constant connection is a little too much for me. Despite my love of how easy connection is these days. I’m such a big fan of how quickly I can call friends in Sweden and how Instagram will let me know when people are in town. I love asking locals for recommendations even if I haven’t talked to them in years.
It’s never been easier to know what’s happening in the world. To keep in touch with people in other countries or to organize any number of things. It’s never been easier to stay connected, and yet, I wonder if constant “in-touch-ness” is actually the goal. What were the rules and understandings of dear friendships when cell service was yet to be invented? What were expected response times? What did it feel like to not have access to everything and everyone, at every moment?
I can’t help but wonder about it all. About what ways the constant-ness might be affecting our experiences of the world and of each other. How expectations and values have changed. Are we all meant to be as accessible as we are? It’s lovely to have such easy access to the people you love all over the world, but what if it’s too much access?
Maybe it’s just me. The endlessly busy, half extroverted girl who can’t bear to not be friends with every lovely person she meets. Maybe my issue is that I’m trying to stay in touch with too many people. But what do you expect? You want me to choose between wonderful people? Decide who to show more love to? That seems so unreasonable. If that’s the solution, it’s not one I want.
With the busiest month of my life finally closed, I’m doing my best to settle in and dream up what I want this next chapter of life to look like. I’m holding tight to my dabbling in physical medias (vinyl, film photography, dance, my typewriter, sending mail!) and doing as much as I can to feel present and in my body. If you’re ever feeling a bit odd or a little too accessible and “in the online world,” I’d say you almost always have 15 minutes to spare, and sitting outside to watch sunset will almost always make you feel a little better. It helps reset your circadian rhythm, and reminds you that you live on a physical, present planet.
Your friend, currently loving this form of connection—
💙 Veronica
Current Recs:
Practical Magic (movie) - If you love spooky season or fall and have never seen this 1998 classic, you need to do so immediately. Witches, love stories, Sandra Bullock & Nicole Kidman, what more could you want?
Jazz!! - While in the Catskills, the girls and I would wake up, throw a jazz vinyl on, and sip our coffee, journaling, reading or making breakfast. It’s a vibe I will be recreating for the next several months. Dip your toe in with my playlist Sinatra and Friends.
Lillet Spritz - For those of us that partake in alcohol, this is a lovely little drink for those have friends over to make pasta sort of nights
I gasped at your backpacking photos!!!! In my old backyard 🥲🤩 And girl, after our Catskills trip, I am hellbent on finding intentional offline time because it was like a bath for my brain and soul (loved the cameo)